4 Questions to Ask When Your Relationship Isn’t Working | SuperSoul Sunday | Oprah Winfrey Network

Why You’re Not Married..Yet author Tracy McMillan says if something isn’t working in your relationship, the first place to look is inward. Find out which four questions she says to ask yourself when you want to make a change. For more on #supersoulsunday, visit http://bit.ly/1tNw5dg

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4 Questions to Ask When Your Relationship Isn’t Working | SuperSoul Sunday | Oprah Winfrey Network


  1. It’s still amaze me just how many people don’t know about Troplusfix Dating Secrets despite the fact that a lot of people get a positive response from their man with it. Thanks to my personal friend who told me about it. I’ve I have change the way my man treats me.

  2. Yes; these are beautiful questions. They are:

    1. Where do I need to love myself more?
    2. What is it I’m here to learn?
    3. What is it that I believe about myself that this relationship is showing me?
    4. What can I do about it?

    The key words are: Self-ownership and Responsibility.

    Somewhere on the thread of the relationship; you said,’Yes.’
    ‘Yes, I will put in, put up, put out with this. Yes, it will heal with time. Yes, I’m a stronger woman out of it.’

    The question most needed to ask is what you see in yourself:
    ‘Who am I to me?.’

    The body is a portal of self-love, and needs constant filling of kindness to oneself.
    Live with the manta of ‘Be kind to me; be kind to me; be kind to me,’ and you will never feel unappreciated, condescended, diminished or ignored because you know who you are and what you are.

    When the relationship is not validating what you see and know of yourself; trust your instincts, and confront the situation. This is where men and women fall, they assume they can do something about it by fixing the relationship, chaning its shape, its meaning, its feeling. They work harder, they give more, pay more, love more, and then the relationship collapses and they ask, ‘I don’t understand. What did I do? I’ve been traded for someone less.’

    It’s never about you. Ever. You were never owned so how can you be traded.

    Read the four questions listed above and pay attention to yourself. Say, ‘Yes, I am enough as I am adore. I adore and cherish me. I love me, wholeheartedly, authentically, beautiful me.’

    The Universe works a beautiful tapestry of love. It’s not about what you want, it’s about what you need to get to the next stage of your life. It’s what you do in the meantime that counts, not who you will be once it happens.

    Happiness is a state of mind.

    What you pay attention to will grow, so pay to yourself. Pay attention to words like, ‘Hello, thank you, good bye, I love you, please, yes, no.’ Because if you want real love, you better recognise it in yourself first. Otherwise every relationship you find will fill a void, instead of a spirit of love.

    If the person in your relationship is not willing to see a different perspective, is not willing to change, is not willing to own responsibility for the action they’ve displayed, and not just once, but consistently; that’s when you need to step up and pay attention to what it is you want. 

    Real love does not need validation, it needs patience and reflection.

    I love the insight of Iyanla Vanzant. Listen to her, learn and grow.

    Have a beautiful day, L.

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