How to Deal If Your Partner’s Ex Is Still in the Picture

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Is three a crowd in your relationship? Here’s how to peacefully co-exist with your partner’s former better half.

Step 1: Assess the situation
Ask yourself what it is about your partner’s ex that upsets you. Their attitude toward you? Continued closeness with your partner? Animosity toward your ex?

Step 2: Search your soul
Be honest about your role in the triangle. Could your own jealousy, insecurity, or resentment be partly to blame?

Control jealousy by reminding yourself that your partner and their ex are no longer together for a reason.

Step 3: Talk to your partner
Once you have a handle on the situation, find a quiet time to talk to your partner about your concerns. Give them a chance to express their feelings, too.

Step 4: Find ways to compromise
Be prepared to compromise. Avoid ultimatums and demands. Jealous or aggressive behavior could drive your partner away.

Step 5: Mind your own business
Stay out of your partner’s conflicts with their ex – especially if children are involved. Respect boundaries concerning parenting.

Step 6: Cope with an amorous ex
If you suspect your partner’s ex is still carrying a torch for them, talk to your partner about it and decide on a course of action together.

Step 7: Keep your enemies close
Make an effort to befriend an ex who remains an important part of your partner’s life. It’s bound to strengthen your relationship and – who knows? – you may get a new pal out of it.

Did You Know?
Platonic, nonromantic love between friends of the opposite sex does exist, according to psychology researchers.

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