The Worst Thing You Can Write In An Online Dating Email

Ask We Love Dates Round 2! What is the worst thing to say in an online dating email?


Hey, guys. It’s Liz. Happy Friday and welcome to my bed. Yeah, I’m coming to you from under my covers. I am laid up icing a running injury, but didn’t want to miss an opportunity to say hello, since I haven’t been vlogging for the past couple weeks. Life got a little crazy.

So anyway, how’s this dating? Tell me everything. I am here with a weird request, Ask Wheel of Dates. And remember, if you want to submit a question to me and the Wheel of Dates team, by all means leave a comment, email, messenger pigeon, I don’t care. Just ask me. Today, we have a question from Kailan, @Kailan. Hi, Kailan. And Kailan wants to know, “What is the single worst thing you can write in your first email to somebody on a dating website?” Whew, that’s quite a question. What is the worst thing you can write in your first email to somebody on a dating website? Okay, I thought about this and all these different things were coming at me, talking about money, or, I don’t know, talking about sex, or uncouth.

For most first emails the single worst thing you can say, drum roll, is “Hey”, and that’s it. “Hey.” Period. Bye. I cannot tell you how much I hate those emails. When I get those online and it’s like, “Hey”, that’s all you can say to me? Like did you even read my profile, you can’t even ask me how I’m doing? I just think it’s so rude, I automatically delete them, I have nothing to say back. If I’m feeling a little saucy, I just write back, “Hey.” I think if you’re going to take the time to email somebody online, at least say a couple sentences. Why are you writing them? Do you have something in common? Do you think their pictures are really cute? Whatever it is, just say something. Do not just say, “Hey.” Would you walk up to somebody that you found attractive at a party and say, “Hey?” And just stare at them like you have nothing going on upstairs? No, you would say, “Hey, I am so-and-so.” And then you would try initiate conversation, put some effort into it, put yourself out there just a little bit. I mean, you don’t have to ask them to marry you, just ask them what they did last weekend. That’s my favorite, by the way. Going on some tangent right now. But when I write emails, I always say like, “What did you do last weekend? Did you do anything fun?” You know, just to get the conversation started and maybe they’ll say like, “Oh, I did something really cool,” and talk to me about it, and maybe I’ve done it. You know what I mean? You’ve got to throw the ball back and forth, or else you got nothing. With “Hey.” “Hey.” See? Not cute, not attractive, I sound annoying, and it’s annoying when I get emails that say that.

So, Kailan, the single worst thing you can say in an email to somebody on an online dating site is, “Hey.” Don’t say, “Hey,” say more, come on, be adults, let’s have fun. Anyway, thanks for hanging out with me in bed, and I will see you guys next week. Remember to ask me questions for Ask Wheel of Dates, and I will try to come up with an answer. At least it will be somewhat entertaining, I hope. Anyway, have a good weekend you guys. Bye.


  1. I think your analogy and nails it on the head about why people write “hey”. At a party you would exactly say just that and then see how they respond, verbally or non verbally. The guy that writes you that is just tired of putting in effort when chicks don’t even look at the page or their girlfriends put it on there for them or whatever. Yeah it’s lazy but, he just wants to see if you have a basic level of interest, like someone at a party turning towards you and smiling and saying hey back.

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